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This page is dedicated to the stories of the game. The most recent games are at the top.
** SPECIAL NOTE: This page has gotten too difficult to keep up with because either A) I'm too hungover to write the next day or B) I can't remember all what happened the night before because of A). So, from now on, I will just post the group photo if I have it and name the winner.
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04/18/08 - THE BARLEY BOWL.
What can I say!? It was FANTATIC! I (Greg) showed up a little after 8pm with Artie and Detroit Dave. Andrew and Hula Dave had the food table and trophy table already set up. His patio was aglow with amber neon and the Beastie Boys were playing. What more could one ask for.
If was a rough night, so if I forget anybody, or there’s just something you want to share, please email me and let me know. I remember Juan and Robert showing up with Juan’s Dad as an official spectator. Than we had Scott, Sober Jim, William, and Steve shortly after (with Chris in tow as another official spectator who left early). Soon after that was Marcy Marc. As for myself, I was pumped. Andrew and I had to do a Tri-beer-nal at 8:30 to decide who was first and second.
So, at about 8:25, we filled our glass beer boots with 36 oz. of beer and let it rest. Then, at 8:30 – it was on! I wanted to be timed just in case I set a precedent. My heart was pounding with excitement. I was told that I finished in less than a minute, but nobody officially had a stop watch. Anyway, that made me the Official Champion of the 2007-2008 NBGA! WOO HOO!
Then we had to have a shoot off between Artie and Marc for the 3rd place tropy (neither could chug off due to either medication or Rule #5). The Executive Committee had to convene to approve that rule change in order to crown a 3rd place winner. Anyway, Artie hit first and it was a damn good shot. About 5 feet from the pin. Then it was Marc (keep in mind, Marc never wins). He takes his shot and he gets within 3 feet of the pin making him the 3rd place winner. Who’d a thunk it?
So then, we all headed back inside and Andrew and I began picking teams. Seeing as he was second place, he got first choice. I believe he picked William first, then I chose Robert. After that doesn’t matter, because as Ricky Bobby says, "If you’re not first, you’re last." Oh, wait! I almost forgot. Derek showed up and brought the legendary Howie, from last season. Howie contacted us through the website so we made prior arrangements to allow him to play (he is a legend).
Tee off began at 9pm, right after we finished picking teams. Right off the bat, you could tell this was going to be a different game since it was a team sport. That meant the WHOLE team could mess with the other team, and believe me, my team did.
Also, right off hole #1, the Executive Committee had to make another rule change because of a tie. It was to be a WHOLE TEAM chug off, however, we realized that we would go through over a 12 pack of beer on every chug off. With this many guys playing, we were bound to have a lot of ties (and we did). So, we had to change it so that each team could nominate a "chugger" for their team to send to the "duel". So on whole #1, it was myself and Howie...and Howie won, damnit.
Play went really well, and then we arrived at hole #5 – TIME FOR THE HALFTIME SHOW! Dave lit the bonfire (friggin huge) and I started the music, which consisted of "Drink Beer, Wear Sunscreen" & "The Beer Song". As the songs played and the fire raged, we lit the fireworks. 36 mortar shots in all. It was beautiful.
So, after the half-time, we played the last five holes. Obi Juan would kill me if I didn’t mention his awesome shot between the trees. I believe it was hole #6 which had an alley of pine trees – and Juan threaded it nicely. He was about 1 foot from the pin!
When it came to messing with people, Juan and I took it to the next level. We really teamed up and vexed the other team. Then there was Hula Dave. You’d think he was playing for the other team instead of mine, that bastard. The greatest psyche-out was when we had the entire team moon whoever it was on hole #7 (maybe Steve). Memory is a little hazy from that night.
Well, it came down to hole #9. I don’t remember the scores (it took 2 ½ hours to play), but all I remember is that my team won by 1 point. That makes my team the Barley Bowl Winners! And, each winner received a special sticker to place on their balls, which will get them an advantage in play for the next season, so look for that to be reflected in the rules.
After game play, it was time for food and awards. We started with the lowest in points and worked our way up to the Champion (ha, that’s me!). Everyone received a custom NBGA koozie along with NBGA business cards and a custom ball with their name on it. As each member was called to the podium by Emcee’s Andrew and Greg (me again), they got to make a speech. It ranged from Detroit Dave’s "Four Score and Seven Years Ago", to Robert’s speech thanking us for making this sport to get the guys together, to Derek’s thanking of our wives for his motivation.
Then, we got to the last three. We started with Marc, who I think was at the podium the whole time. He received the 3rd place trophy (pictures coming soon). Then, I presented the 2nd place trophy to Andrew. And lastly, he presented the 1st place, Grand Champion trophy, to me. I could’ve cried. I don’t remember any of our speeches, but I bet they were great.
And then Hula Dave jumped into the pool, and everyone left shortly after. Good Friends, Good Food, and Good Times (and beer). That’s what this game is all about. SEE YOU NEXT SEASON! |
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5/28/08 FINAL SEASON GAME !! Well, it was a long day. For those of you who are on the email list, you know that it was not only the final seasonal game, but it was also the grand opening of Marc’s bar, the Brass Monkey. Marc and I spent most of the day (and evening) putting the final touches on the bar and preparing for the game. That’s the excuse for way I played so unbelievably bad, and I’m sticking to it.
Also, just so you know, I’m writing this about 2 weeks after the game – mainly because I’ve been sulking from my poor play that night. It’s also from my point of view since I’m typing it. So, this will be brief.
A lot of guys showed up. We had myselft (Greg), Andrew, Marc (of course), Dave, Scott, Steve, Artie, William, Jim, and Derek. Of course, there were appetizers galore and plenty of beer. Tee off was a little late, due to the sunset being later than we’re used to since Daylight Savings Time and all.
Anyway, I shot like crap, but it didn’t matter to me – at first – just so long as Andrew didn’t win. I WAS in first place and nobody could take it, but Andrew would tie me if he won this game. After we played the first 9 holes, I could tell my title was in trouble. My game strategy changed with my only goal now being to get Andrew to lose. A few things worked like the "yellow rain on the par 2" as I like to call it. It really came down to the last hole. At that time, William had the point on hole 18. As long as nobody else hit better, he’d win. So all I had to do was try and convince everyone else to flub the hole, otherwise, Andrew and William would have a tie and it would go to a duel. Anyway, I convinced everyone to just tap their ball…everyone that is except for Steve. And wouldn’t you know it, STEVE FRIGGIN’ TOOK THE HOLE !!!!!!!! DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Long story short; this forced a tie between Andrew and William; William gave the duel to Andrew; Andrew wins.
In the end, we shot off some fireworks and Anderw made a great ending speech. We then took off to the Brass Monkey where we devoured Marc's bourbon chicken and slid down the newly installed stripper pole. I must say, this bar is SWEET!
So, what does this mean for the leaderboard then. Well, it means Andrew and I will have a 3 beer drink off 30 minutes prior to the Barley Bowl to decide the winner. Our glass beer boots that easily hold 36 ounces are clean and polished and we’re both anxious to finish this off. Who’d have thought that the finale would be decided by the two Executive Committee members in a drink off at the Barley Bowl. WOO HOO! As we say, "ergo bibamus."
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2/29/08
Leap Year Tournament. Holy crap, what a game. I’m gonna start from the beginning - and remember, this is what I remember from that night, which isn’t a whole lot.
I showed up at around 7pm with my bean dip concoction (soon to be on the recipe page), with Hula Dave already there. For those who check the calendar, "there" is at The Ivy Trap, which is John’s place. John was still prepping the course to make sure all was pristine – which it was. Andrew showed up shortly after and the two of us set up the holes. Then came Artie, Jay (a first timer who’s wanted to play for years) and then those who I refer to as Team Wellington – Juan, Robert, and Chad. Shortly after came Marcy Marc.
Well, cocktail hour was nice. Robert looked sexy in his ghetto, zip tied, mag-lite hat-of-golf. We all drank and ate bean dip, so what more can you ask. I kept running back-and-forth to my house from John’s to get forgotten stuff. But, anyway, got the camera and took some pics, so be sure to check those out.
8pm came and we went for tee off. Alrighty, from this point, all I have is bits and pieces. I shot like crap and kept consistent through the game (as in "shot like crap"). So did Andrew and Marc. Hula Dave was shooting like a champ for the first 5 or 6 holes. We had to question him on the HGH since he has been on steroids since his surgery, but after convening with the committee, we determined that HGH and steroids are allowed.
Then, there was an incident between Marc and Andrew on the 3rd hole. All I remember is beer being flung by Marc at Andrew’s face. First of all, alcohol abuse. Secondly, desecrating a member of the committee. Paybacks come later.
Then later, somebody pissed on somebody’s ball. Then I pissed on Robert’s ball on a par 2 (hey, he was in the lead AND you have to play it as it lies). Plus, I had to put Marc’s ball in the crack of my butt (I left a few hairs on it) to help with Andrew’s payback. Then Robert pissed on my ball at tee off on hole 10, so I just went and got another ball. Chad was on Robert’s tail, point wise. Then, somehow, Juan came up. Then Jay was in there, too.
Wait, going back, Scott showed up somewhere around whole 5, but he shot like crap, just like most of the veterans of the game. Plus, somewhere, I tired a psyche-out by using balloon animals on the course. More specifically, a balloon phallus, which did not at all phase Robert, but encouraged him. He even bit the end of it (see the pics). Then William showed up somewhere around hole 16 and took some points, but was ineligible due to the fact that it was after 9 holes.
Then there where the duels. I’ve NEVER seen a person chug a beer as fast as Chad. I swear, less than 3 seconds! This sport was made for guys like him.
In the end, it came to a possible chug off between Robert and Jay for the last hole. Whoever won that would be tied with Chad and have to chug him for the game. Jay conceded the duel because that would cause a double chug off. By giving Robert the hole, it forced a chug between Robert and Chad. Obviously, Chad won.
So the game was won and I had to take a piss. So here I am, minding my own piss, when out of the corner of my eye, I see all 270 lbs. of Chad coming at me full steam. I pointed my stream toward him and got some on his leg, but then had to pinch it quickly as I went down. I gotta say, that’s the first time I’ve ever been tackled whilst pissing. AND THE GAME WAS OVER! Good thing he’s a beer distributor and left us a lot of free beers. Makes me a very forgiving person.
So we sat by a fire, ate some wonderful burgers that John cooked, listened to some Buffett, and talked about the game. John certainly set up his course nicely and had some great food. All and all, John set it up perfectly. It was, quite possibly, our longest game, yet. It took close to 2 hours to get through the first 9 holes. Crazy.
Then, Jay’s girlfriend shows up at around midnight. Alright, here’s some advice…if you have a bunch of drunk guys and no women, don’t introduce the girlfriend/wife/sister or whatever around midnight. No good can come of this. |
| 02/15/08 Golf night at Pine Tree Cove. WOO HOO! Well, Andrew was supposed to do this write up, but he got called down to the art department to design a new NBGA logo (clothing line coming soon?) That should appear on the site any day now – and it is good! Anyway, it’s Greg again.
Well, I was the first one there. I brought some black bean and guacamole nacho appetizers and through them on the grill. Next to show was Juan and Robert, followed by Artie, and then Steve.
Tee time began promptly at 8pm under a beautiful moon that had a halo effect caused by high clouds. The temp was cool enough that Andrew and I donned our sport jackets for play. I changed my strategy and went stealth this time, sporting a black shirt with my old black sport coat from season 1, and black makeup under the eyes.
The sport is evolving nicely, I might say. Verbal abusing has gone to the next level. Because of Robert, I’ll never look at a beer bottle the same again (just imagine a "head" on the top and a "vein" down the middle – eeewww!) Some of us went down laughing at some of the antics, which affected most of our games. Robert, however, was unwavering. By the 9th hole, he was a few points ahead of me, and Andrew and I could tell that the jackets were weighing down our game, so we ditched them at the 9th.
I started playing serious by the 10th hole and scored a few good points. We also discovered that Steve has the same gift Andrew has – once he downs a few beers, he is dead on his hits. Pretty soon, Steve started coming up. I think at one point, we had three duels in a row and Steve was in ALL of them. What a champ. And Artie was still in the game. He usually has to leave by the 9th hole. A rare night, indeed.
I don’t know what happened to Juan – he’s just eye candy for the game. I vaguely remember him whining at one point in the game to get into a duel because of a measurement issue. We agreed, but not only did he lose it, he lost it badly. Did he even score any points? That’s the problem with this game – one can’t remember the whole night the next day.
In the end, I was on Robert’s tale. It came down to the 18th hole, however, I would’ve had to get a hole in one to beat him. HEY, it could happen – but it didn’t. Robert took the game with 18 points with me at 14. Everyone else’s score isn’t worth mentioning.
Then it was off to the Swamp where Andrew had the Everglades Venison Stew on the grill (check the recipe page because it’s worth it). Damn, was it good. This is a recipe that everyone has been asking for since last year so we finally put it on the site. Also, Robert brought some interesting beers, such as a chocolate brew that was very tasty. We spent the night drinking, eating, sitting by the fire in the keg stove, and telling stories that can’t be repeated (and some can’t be remembered) . I love this game!
…and Andrew, clean out that damn fridge. |  |
|  | 1/18/08 FULL MOON TOURNAMENT!!!!! WOW! The only full moon tournament of this season (defined as being +/-5 days of a full moon) and it began with an emergency course location change. The original tournament was to be held at Luna Lagoon, however, Dave had to undergo surgery for a polyp in his sinus and a deviated septum, so I decided to take the tournament and all its responsibilities and host it at Sandy Beach Isles (hey, that’s me, Greg. Why the hell doesn’t Andrew, the other half of the committee, ever write a blog?)
First of all, it all started on a Wednesday night, in which I had a Foo Fighters concert to go to in Ft. Lauderdale. It was the opening night for their US tour and I happened to put in for the day after off a few months prior, which ended up leaving me free Thursday to prep the course and menu. I was able to go to Costco and pick up a leg of lamb and cook it on a rotisserie that day whilst I mowed my lawn. I decided to do something different on the lawn, too – I dropped the mower deck down a couple notches at the holes and made little tee boxes. Something different. After the mowing was done, I sliced up the lamb for the main course the next night.
So here we are, Friday the 18th. Full moon tournament, which means double seasonal points. I put on potato skins with bacon and cheese on the outdoor smoker cooking on oak wood for an appetizer. The skies were cloudy and the temp. was in the low 70’s for cocktail hour, but started clearing by tee time. Scott showed up first, followed by Andrew. Then Juan showed up with his buddy Chad (more on him later), then Marc with his stuffed pastry appetizers, followed by Lake Worth Dave in his Detroit Tigers hat with Chris and Kus. We drank some beers, ate appetizers, and jammed on the guitar until tee off. We waited until just before tee time (7:58 to be exact) and took a group photo, pictured to the left. Then, right at the 8pm tee time, John showed up, followed by Sober guys William and Jim. John was actually on time, didn’t stay late, and didn’t have poison ivy wounds on his arms – that’s rare. We now had 12 guys which would have given us a purse of 144 beers, however, Sober Jim showed up empty handed – as usual – so we only had 132. Close enough.
The game went smoothly. I had a live Foo Fighters concert playing on the big screen in the Tiki Shack and Foo Fighters playing in the back yard (just went to their friggin’ concert, what do you expect). We had the usual 2 pointers and club length 3 pointers, duels (…and, damn, William can chug a soda), etc. I was playing alright, but Chad was right with me. Andrew, who usually plays great once he’s had 6 beers, was off his mark. Marc played as well as he always does (damn that Dolphins cozy). It looked like Kus was going to come up in the end and take the game, but he’s another guy who plays well once he’s had a few beers, and it was just too late in the game for him. In the end, Chad won and I came in second, which actually counts for something in a full moon tournament. I did try to throw Chad off several times by using my stripper routine, but to no avail. Juan tried to flash me on hole 18, but I wasn’t impressed. He was so far behind, he might as well tried reaching for the moon because that would’ve been closer. The highlight of the night was when Scott pissed on Andrew’s ball….But Andrew got a piece of dog poop (he used a banana leaf), and smeared it on Scott’s ball unseen by Scott as he went for another beer. The unfortunate thing is that Dave is the one who picked up the ball by mistake. Oh, the smell!
After the game, we proceeded to the Drunken Parrot where I had the sliced lamb in a tray on the grill as well as a cooler with pita bread, Greek salad, & feta cheese. Lamb gyros, baby! When Chris found out I had Gyros earlier, his eyes almost came out of his head. I thought I had a lot of food, but once I made myself one gyro and went for the second 15 minutes later, it was all gone. Normally, every game, I have leftovers. Not tonight! Scott even licked the tray clean. Oh, and if you want taziki sauce, bring it yourself next time – I hate that stuff.
Of course, it was another great night! Good friends, good food, and good times. We spent the next few hours by the fire drinking and carousing and having a good time, as always. I kind of feel nostalgic, looking back on how this game began 3 years ago and what it’s become. We only have 3 games left in this season, and I’m already gonna miss it. A big THANKS to all those who showed! Congrats Chad & thanks for leaving the beer. See you all Feb. 15th. |
| 01/04/08 The FIRST game of 2008! First of all, the whole day was off and on drizzles with the temp. hovering in the upper 60’s. However, by the 8pm tee time, it was clear above our heads and a nice 58 degrees.
I showed up (that’s me, Greg) at 7pm for the cocktail hour at Andrew’s course, Pine Tree Cove, with Dave already there. We drank some beers and ate appetizers in the Swamp whilst listening to Dave piss and moan. We thought for sure that we’d be teeing off in rain, however, the clouds started to part over our heads and we had clear skies above us by 8. ONLY above us. If you looked north, south, east, or west – there was nothing but clouds. Divine intervention.
The 3 of us started promptly at 8pm. By hole 4, William showed up (another sober player) followed by Rusty at hole 5, and finally Scott by hole 8. Prior to Rusty, we had 4 or less players, so the scoring was old school until we had our 5th member. That kept me down in the points because I took the first 4 holes. Damn it!
The score was pretty tight on the back 9. Andrew played his usual great game and came from behind once he had enough beers in him. That boy just can’t shoot sober. On, the other hand, sober William was at our heels the whole game. We had a couple of chug off here and there, some good shots, but at the 9th hole it was solely between William, Andrew, and myself.
Then came the last hole. I hit and landed in the rough. Then Andrew and William went. Both hit within equal distance forcing a duel. If Andrew wins the duel, then there would be game tie (crap - we never addressed this in the rules), so Dave and I had to convene and discuss how to handle this. However, if William wins the duel, he would be the outright winner and the issue would be moot. That being said, no sober person has ever won a duel with a soda. They stood back to back, William with a soda, Andrew with his beer, and paced off. Turned and drank….and the winner was William! That gave William his first win and it was his first time playing. William 11, Andrew 10, Greg 9. Who cares what everyone else got.
In the end, we sat in the cool air inside the Swamp with a fire in the keg stove. Told our usual BS stories, congratulated William, and ate Andrew’s homemade Chicken Fricassee. We heard Rusty thank us over and over again for inviting him, Scott’s cackle laughter, and Dave finally quit bitchin’. Then John showed up late night for a few beers, but was sober enough to take me home. All was right with the world. |  |
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12/14 (story by Greg) Alrighty, enough of writing this 3rd person crap. The game was at my course, Sandy Beach Isles. The weather for the night really sucked! It was 75 degrees at tee off with a humidity around 80 percent (friggin 2 days later, it was 60 with a humidity around 40%!). Anyway, it was like golfing through soup. And this was the annual holiday tournament! Never has the weather been this sucky.So, we had a few cancellations. Dave wussed out again. We had 2 new players, Juan and Robert, who showed up first for cocktail hour. Followed by Andrew, Artie, Marc, and Kervi (damn it!). Marc brought his famous bean dip and nachos (see rule 23), and Artie brought some fried chicken for appetizers. Andrew brought beer, and that's good enough for me.
Tee off started at 8:00, as usual, but the weather was muggy as hell. This was, however, the first tournament that we were using the new CHROME solar lights that were generously donated to us by the Artie Leithuaser foundation. That being said, Kervi quickly took the lead, AND didn’t let it go. To sum it up, we had a few duels, one of which was a 3 way duel, and a few good hits. However, Kervi was just un-friggin-beatable (and he barely ever shows). For those who remember Howie, form past years, we believe Kervi ate Howie’s brain and gained his power. In the end, Kervi finished with an astonishing record 21 of points! On the last hole, whether out of disgust of my own playing or just pissed off by the record points by Kervi, I pulled a distraction tactic never pulled before – I pissed on Kervi's ball just before he hit it. Why, oh why, didn’t I do that earlier in the game.
Anyway, I’ve gotta give myself credit for the after party food at the 19th hole. I made a wicked turkey and dumpling stew that was phenomenal. We did the usual drinking and eating in the Drunken Parrot, but as I said, too hot and humid for a nice holiday tournament. That’s all I got.
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11/30 Another great night of golf with quite a few firsts. This night, we were at the Clutter Hole, hosted by Scott – a first time host, but long time player. The turnout was great. Marc and Greg showed up for cocktail hour before the game, Marc bringing the fried chicken for appetizers in addition to his green’s fees. Andrew was there also, then Steve, Jim, and Artie showed up.
Tee off began at 8pm and at first, it seemed like a normal game, until the 3rd hole. Another first happened on this hole – A THREE WAY DUEL! Yes, we had 3 players tied for the hole – Greg, Steve, and Artie, so there was chugging for first and second place points. After the face off, Greg quickly won the battle, followed by Steve for second, and Artie a distant third earning no points.
The game went great and everyone was shooting well, however, after nine holes it seemed there was a clear winner. Greg had an astonishing 12 points in the first nine! However, the back nine seemed elusive to him and then Andrew (2006-2007 champion) suddenly found his "A" game and was riding Greg all the way to hole 16. Also, another first on hole 16 - A "swillabuster"! Both Sober Jim and Andrew had a duel, but Sober Jim had to use a Coke, so both took their time. Andrew won that duel in the end. The back nine seems to be Andrew’s forte’, as once he’s had enough beers, he’s impossible to beat! Andrew pulled ahead on hole 17, giving him a total of 16 points to Greg’s 15. One hole left and all was up in the air. Once Andrew hit his ball, it was clear he was within a club length giving him 3 points. Then it was Greg’s turn. The swing, the hit, and he choked! The ball hit the fence post and came back – the second time that night Greg hit a ball backwards (the first was earlier in which the ball popped up, and then in the follow thru, hit it again and actually sent it backwards – how embarrassing).
All and all, it was a great game. The Champ finished with 19 points. Jim seemed to disappear once Scott’s sister showed up (stop it). Artie left after 9 holes. Marc tried his Jedi mind tricks, yet they didn’t work on the course. Steve was Steve and played his hardest. Scott was a great host, but shot like crap.
So onto the 19th hole! Scott’s 19th hole was under construction, but we made do with a patio table and chairs. He had some fantastic chili, which wasn’t even homemade yet still great, and plenty of mini Mexican food such as mini tacos and burritos.
In the end, we stood around a nice bonfire, drank beer, ate food, and talked crap. This is really what this game is all about. See you next tournament!
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|  | 11/16 What a beautiful night for golf! The temperature was a nice 59 degrees at tee time with clear skies and a slight crescent moon. This night’s game was held at Marc's place, Falling Tree Acres, with the 19th hole called The Oasis. Each hole was not only lit by the standard solar light, but also a flaming tiki torch. Unfortunately, many members were sick and couldn't make it and only 4 players showed, however, it was still a fantastic time. We had pregame appetizers consisting of chips and guacamole, & bread with spinach dip. The after game meal in the 19th hole was a wonderful bourbon chicken with rice and peas. Even a chocolate chip cookie bake was provided for dessert. Needless to say, ample food.
All four players, Artie, Greg, Andrew, & Marc, seemed to start out playing rough, but by the ninth hole, there was a clear front-runner - Artie! Marc and Andrew both seemed way off their game this night, and Greg was shooting so-so, however, there seemed to be no catching Artie. Not only did he capture most of the holes, he even scored and extra point being a club length on one of the holes in the front nine.
In the end, it wasn't even close. Artie finished with the big win taking 10 points, Greg a distant second with 6, Andrew with 3 points, and Marc with a paltry 1 point.
In the end, it was a GREAT game, and usually is. We spent the after hours in front of a nice roaring fire fed by dry pallets sharing stories and smelling someone's bad gas (stay away from the beans, Andrew). For all those who couldn't make it, we hope you get better and see you at the next tournament! |
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